Keepers From the Start

These are great examples of first messages dudes send. Why am I single?! Hello! Prime opportunities are just knocking at my door!
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i hate everyone too, but i like you because you're very doable. - John

(Thank you, Sir, for commenting on my doability! I'm sure we have LOTS to talk about.)
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i like that you carry a flask, saves money at the bars- david

(Thank you for letting me know, in advance, that you are an alcoholic and cheap. Those are my favorite qualities in a man.)
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Hey I saw your profile, I am looking for someone to hang out with at the secret affair this friday night. If you are interested in something other then sitting at home on a Friday night, this could be fun. - Mike

(So, smart! The best way to get a girl to go out with you is by implying that she has no life and nothing better to do!)
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it says you are online,but i dont know how to talk to you online. I'm not stupid.. I can work the internets. Just, I do wish I could talk to you online. If it was a bar, i would just send you a vodka and have done with .online it's so difficult. - Josef

(...I have no words)
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hmm, my,my yes miss, now you are a girl who just loves a good spankin' aintcha :)..... - britboy

(This delightful message was accompanied by a shirtless photo, AFTER I had listed "your retarded shirtless photo" under "THINGS I DON'T WANT".)

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WTF?!

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Comfortably Awkward

11/18

So I hate most things too. But you live sort of far away. But I also think you're pretty sexy, so I'm not sure what to do with all of that. Ideas? -Yancey

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GO METRO! - Shannon

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I never heard back from Yancy. I guess he didn't think my reply was very funny. You may have just witnessed our entire online relationship.

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11/22

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*Yancey is back!

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Your new profile picture is pretty wow...wow. Not sure if I'm ready to GO METRO yet. And I'm sorry if my flirting bugs you. Just tell me to fuck off. Otherwise, what are you looking for here?(I don't have automatic answer to this question either, I find the whole internet thing kind of weird.) - Yancey

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You know...like "go Metro"...like public transportation. It was a poor attempt at humor, I guess. (That's a lie. I think it was a pretty funny reply) I just couldn't think of anything else to say at that moment. =/ - Shannon

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Please note that I have no intererst in dating Yancey, ever. Let's see how this goes.

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12/1

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Still haven't heard back from Yancey. =(