Keepers From the Start

These are great examples of first messages dudes send. Why am I single?! Hello! Prime opportunities are just knocking at my door!
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i hate everyone too, but i like you because you're very doable. - John

(Thank you, Sir, for commenting on my doability! I'm sure we have LOTS to talk about.)
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i like that you carry a flask, saves money at the bars- david

(Thank you for letting me know, in advance, that you are an alcoholic and cheap. Those are my favorite qualities in a man.)
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Hey I saw your profile, I am looking for someone to hang out with at the secret affair this friday night. If you are interested in something other then sitting at home on a Friday night, this could be fun. - Mike

(So, smart! The best way to get a girl to go out with you is by implying that she has no life and nothing better to do!)
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it says you are online,but i dont know how to talk to you online. I'm not stupid.. I can work the internets. Just, I do wish I could talk to you online. If it was a bar, i would just send you a vodka and have done with .online it's so difficult. - Josef

(...I have no words)
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hmm, my,my yes miss, now you are a girl who just loves a good spankin' aintcha :)..... - britboy

(This delightful message was accompanied by a shirtless photo, AFTER I had listed "your retarded shirtless photo" under "THINGS I DON'T WANT".)

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WTF?!

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